Monthly Affirmation: I embrace change and trust the process.
I’m a little late to publish this monthly affirmation (like, 7 days late). The reason for my tardiness is because I’ve been going through a pretty big life change. I moved from Calgary, Alberta to Nelson, British Columbia and holy shit it has been exhausting for so many reasons.
Moving is very physically demanding. Packing and carrying the heavy boxes down 3 flights of stairs on a sunny 30°C day is exhausting. Then travelling, unloading the trailer and carrying all the boxes UP HILL on a day that was even hotter than the days before left me physically drained (we own so much stuff, omg).
Moving is also a very emotional process that can be very draining too. Choosing to leave your network of people to go somewhere where there are no guarantees that you will vibe with the people there or that you will be able to create a new community of people is scary. Leaving my best friend fucking sucked. Obviously we’re still going to be best friends, but moving away from her and her family who have basically adopted me made me super sad.
I said good-bye to the first home that my boyfriend and I lived together in, and I said good-bye to the last home that my mom will ever visit me in. A building doesn’t make a home, it is the memories, experiences and love felt within that building that makes it a home. That home had a LOT of memories, experiences and love and I was very emotionally attached to it, so it made the process of leaving it extremely heavy. It brought grief to the surface and it demanded my attention, so that made moving feel so much harder and scarier.
But here I am, writing this post 7 days late on my brand new computer (YAY!), in this brand new space and I’m okay and slowly processing the move. I’m taking time to unpack and focusing on restoring all the energy lost during the move, and trusting the decision we both made to move. Our new space doesn’t feel like a home yet, it’s just a building that we are living in. My impatience and desire for perfection can often get in the way of my daily happiness, but I need to remind myself to calm the fuck down, be present and tackle the unpacking process slowly and consistently. I’m super confident that we will be able to make a home out of this building and I feel like the experiences that happen here will be good ones.
I think it is super important to embrace change, live in the moment and trust the process. Things might not always work out, and for example, if this move doesn’t work out for us, it will be okay. We will be okay. Can you imagine how difficult it would be if we lived in the middle of the dessert with dangerous animals and needed to start from scratch and build a hut out of mud and cow shit? Or how fucked we would be if after building our hut with our own hands we couldn’t find any food and then we had to move and start all over again? Like wow, we actually have it pretty damn good.
So for the month of August while I slowly adapt to my new surroundings, I am choosing to embrace change and trust the process of this new adventure.